On Flat Open Trails

I returned home from a solo backpacking trip recently and found myself on flat, open trail....

The "easy" parts are sometimes the hardest.

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We spend much of our lives scrambling up rocks with the sweet reward of reaching the top of the peak. We look out on the world below with wonder, and awe, and a little bit of "Holy shit, I actually did it!" The views at the top are gorgeous and we can rest for a minute knowing we've conquered something, both physically and mentally.

We look out on the horizon to see other peaks, sometimes with a deep longing and desire to climb those as well.

And then you have to come down. Descents are HARD. It's hard on your body, where I'm most prone to accidents if I'm not paying attention, and requires focus and intention. I'm usually slow on descents and side-step or switchback as often as I can, and sometimes even go backwards. Physically exhausted, I can only focus on 'one foot in front of the other' and just get it done.

Then there are the days, or entire seasons of life, where we are walking along on flat, open trails. The flat, wide open, paved or gravel roads are the hardest for me. The rewards are few and far between. It's slow, it's hot, and let's face it.. it's boring. My feet hurt, my body is recovering from the ascent and descent, and I just want to get it over with.

After returning home from a short trip, I found myself on a flat, open trail. While I hate it, it seems I have the choice to surrender to it or fight against what is.

This flat, open trail caught me off guard. It wasn't planned. It wasn't an intentional "retreat" or an intentional break from driving towards something. This is one of those times where my body has proven to know better than my mind.

This flat, open trail is a healing one. My body is still healing from a whirlwind international trip that ended in illness, and a mountain bike mishap a couple of weeks later. Add in ridiculous inflammation causing foot issues, and follow it up with pushing myself through 20+ miles on a backpacking trip.

My body NEEDS the flat, open trail. My mind is frustrated, but my body NEEDS to heal.

I like striving, I like climbing. I like working towards something and I love forcing myself out of my comfort zone to challenge myself and grow. I'd rather fight through physical limitations than surrender to them, but eventually we no longer have the choice.

And so, here I am.

Surrendering to the flat, open, hotAF, boringAF trail.

It's hard.

There are no obvious rewards.

It's not pretty or glamorous.

It's isolating, lonely.

But, it's also quiet

and calm.

Pema Chodron in "When Things Fall Apart" says: ″We might think, as we become more open, that it’s going to take bigger catastrophes for us to reach our limit. The interesting thing is that, as we open more and more, it’s the big ones that immediately wake us up and the little things that catch us off guard. However, no matter what the size, color, or shape is, the point is still to lean toward the discomfort of life and see it clearly rather than to protect ourselves from it.″

So, if you're on the flat, open trail know that I am here, too. Walking slowly along, one foot in front of the other. Silently walking beside you, cheering you on through the "easy" parts, too. Eventually we will climb to another peak or find a place to stop in awe at the beauty surrounding us.

In the meantime, we can see the beauty in the flat, open trail too. We surrender to it.. over and over again. If we're able, we choose to see clearly and lean towards it.

In gratitude, always.

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(I'd be remiss without giving credit to calling out the metaphor to my trusted mentor and friend, Micara. I'm so grateful that she reminded that I'm just on flat, boring trail and to keep showing up for myself! If you've been in search of a Micara in your life, please go check out her website at www.micaralink.com)