In Praise of Solo Adventuring

"Wait, you go alone?" "Do you carry a gun?" "Don't you get scared?" "You go by yourself??" "You're nuts!" "You're a badass, but you're crazy!" "Why the hell do you do it?"

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At my dog's last vet appointment, the vet asked me if I enjoyed the 4th of July weekend. When I told him I'd spent the long weekend backpacking he raised his eyebrows and said, "Do you carry?"

My response? "Yeah, I carry all my own gear. That's kind of the deal with backpacking." It didn't even occur to me that he was talking about a gun, and we shared a laugh at my expense.

The truth is, I get those questions or comments from most people, which actually surprises me given the amount of solo adventurers I see out on trail and stay connected with via social media. I love venturing out solo and am quite happy to do most things alone.

So, why DO I like solo adventuring? What's the appeal? Why do something that scares you?

While there are probably many reasons, these four seem to be top of the list:

1. I love it.

Honestly, I hate parts of it, but I love those parts too.

2. Pure presence. Pure freedom.

Totally immersing yourself in something, anything really, has a way of clearing away the cobwebs of things that really aren't that important. On the average day, my brain is like a pinball machine bouncing between work, and kids, and adulting, and chores, and the constant ticker of all that I "need" to get done.

On the trail, none of that matters. There are no lists, no chores.. and my thoughts shift from the frantic pinball machine to gentle, rolling waves on calmer waters.

Being out on a trip backpacking (or biking, hiking, traveling solo) is the most present and free I ever am, for better or worse.

3. To grow, learn, and challenge myself. The "easy" parts are sometimes the hardest: Walking on a flat gravel road for a couple of miles sounds easy, but it's boringAF, hotAF, the bugs are bad, and your feet hurt. There are no rewards in some parts. It's stinky, gritty, and it's not glamorous. The challenge in those times is a mental one, which for me personally is far harder than physical challenges.

Scrambling up rocks to some

peak or overlook, or dealing with constant elevation changes in rocky and root-filled trails are physically way more demanding, but mentally much easier. There are more obvious rewards.

In both situations, though, I'm constantly learning and growing. I learn something every day, about my gear, my planning, and about

myself.

4. And perhaps most important: To pave the way for others. I'm a short, curvy, woman. I'm not naive to the fact that I don't "look" like a backpacker, and don't necessarily have the ideal body for it. Other women have paved the way for me to do things like this, and I intend to be a woman who lifts others up and shows other unlikely hikers that they can, too.

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Do I get scared? 100% yes. Often, and for various reasons.

In one of my all-time favorite books, "When Things Fall Apart" Pema Chodron talks about courage and fear. She says, "So the next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in. Usually we think that brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear.”

So yes, I get scared, and I do the damn thing anyway!

And no, I don't carry a gun ;-)